I know that's an oxymoron, but I've had an epiphany the last few days. I've been MIA the last month, and it's because I couldn't see that life was still good. I've been isolating myself, which is soooo not what I need to do when I'm down. I was only seeing the negative in my life; and I know that was making Satan happy. Even when I knew that in my heart, I couldn't pull myself up.
Then last week I read Rachel's post 'truth'
http://rachelandcompany.blogspot.com/2010/01/truth.html. As always, she is filled with insight and wisdom, and I knew God was speaking to my heart through her eloquent words. After I stopped crying, things started to become clear again.
My life is not perfect. It's not meant to be. It's never going to be. Kids are going to yell, the house is going to be a mess, money is going to be an issue. I need to learn to deal with these things and not let my entire perspective be skewed by the bad things. I have so many good things in my life. I have a husband that loves me, children whom I love so much it hurts. Extended family that cares about me, as well as friends that do too, even if it does seem like I've disappeared. I live in a beautiful home, we have food, clothes, and more toys than could ever be played with. I live in the greatest country on earth, my children are receiving an eduction, we have medicine when we're sick. But most importantly, I know that God loves me.
So even when it sucks, life is still good.