I know that's an oxymoron, but I've had an epiphany the last few days. I've been MIA the last month, and it's because I couldn't see that life was still good. I've been isolating myself, which is soooo not what I need to do when I'm down. I was only seeing the negative in my life; and I know that was making Satan happy. Even when I knew that in my heart, I couldn't pull myself up.
Then last week I read Rachel's post 'truth'
http://rachelandcompany.blogspot.com/2010/01/truth.html. As always, she is filled with insight and wisdom, and I knew God was speaking to my heart through her eloquent words. After I stopped crying, things started to become clear again.
My life is not perfect. It's not meant to be. It's never going to be. Kids are going to yell, the house is going to be a mess, money is going to be an issue. I need to learn to deal with these things and not let my entire perspective be skewed by the bad things. I have so many good things in my life. I have a husband that loves me, children whom I love so much it hurts. Extended family that cares about me, as well as friends that do too, even if it does seem like I've disappeared. I live in a beautiful home, we have food, clothes, and more toys than could ever be played with. I live in the greatest country on earth, my children are receiving an eduction, we have medicine when we're sick. But most importantly, I know that God loves me.
So even when it sucks, life is still good.
5 comments:
Thanks for the that. It's so hard to see sometimes, but I know what you say is the truth. :)
I'm sorry to hear that you have been down lately! It is hard to know that Satan is so happy when you are down and it's hard to get out of that stage. Life is hard, but then there are those wonderful moments of happiness that bring your spirits back up again.I wish you were close by so that we could cheer you up!
Sounds like you need some girl time. It just can't come soon enough. I'm sorry you've been down. You also need to remember that there are a whole lot of people who love you for who you are. And I'm pretty sure we all think you're amazing! If they don't, send them over to me and I'll be glad to set them straight.
It stinks you've been feeling down and I'm sorry. I'm glad things are looking better. I wish I had beautiful words for you but just know you are a dear friend to me and I think about you and your family often.
You know whats pretty cool though? After those times when we've lost ourselves, we find ourselves. Even if we lose ourselves again, each time we find ourselves we grow, we become stronger and experience happiness in a way we never could've when we "knew" ourselves before. I love life, especially in the happy, things are kinda working out times.
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